Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Work in Progress

In getting back to my reading, I Believe in Love, it has been such a gift to read this book because every page is a wonder to behold. This particular line I love; "What is more, we must live a presently existing love. Too often, we make our life of love with God in us something to be realized in the future - someday when we shall have made sufficient progress for that. The word sufficient makes me smile, because, after all, how could we ever establish this sufficiency?"
Don't we all feel this way? I hate to presume that others feel what I feel but for the good of my sanity, I like to pretend that I am more like others than different! I am often caught up in the thought that I am a "work in progress." While it is true, that we never stop learning or growing or improving, etc. Right now we must accept God's love as complete. His love is not depending on the fabulous things that we will or may do in the future. His love is right now - flaws and all! I am in the habit of beating myself up for not having accomplished big things in my life as if then I'll give God a reason to love me. To realize that He already does love me, given what I've already done and given that He knows what's to come, is more than my little brain or heart can take! Yet, to accept that love RIGHT NOW is something that I hope to cherish sooner rather than later. In my heart it makes sense but in my brain it makes no sense. I will continue to try and mold my relationship with the Lord with my heart and not so much with my brain and all of the old, rusty, dusty, dirty, painful, hurtful, twisted, etc. thoughts about what I think God needs and I'll fill it with what I know in my heart and in my soul that God has already received from me and know that I have so much more to give Him! It's just amazing how much we still have to learn about the tremendous amount of love that God has for all of us.

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