Thursday, October 28, 2010


A friend has a magnet on her refrigerator that says, "Being a mother can sometimes feel like being hen-pecked by chickens!" I must be chicken feed because I feel pecked to death! Either it's keeping my oldest from being mean to his sister or it's keeping my youngest from plotting some sort of mischievous plan to take over the school. I have friends that only have boys and they say they couldn't imagine their lives any better because girls are a headache. Well, let me tell you a little secret: Girls may have a little more drama but they are loyal and care about more than their own little piece of the world.

It's got to be something that I'm doing wrong with my sons. Maybe they needed me to be more motherly with them instead of the task-master that I tend to be day in and day out! I've tried to support their interests while also teaching them that the world doesn't revolve around them but the results have not been promising. I have one son that would rather pull out his own eyelashes than attend anything that didn't involve a sporting event. No, a sporting event that HE likes. There had better be something in it for him or beware the wrath - UGH! The other son likes to bully his way around a room. Not in the traditional bully way but he wears you down with his complaining and nagging that one is in tears because he just won't stop!

I know there are wonderful qualities that they both have and I should now name them all but I'm too frustrated to do it in this post! I just, for once, would like someone to tell me, "Oh, you're Keagan's mom...he's such a thoughtful young man" Instead I get phone calls from his K.I.N.D.E.R.G.A.R.T.E.N. teacher telling me that he has 3 conduct marks so he will miss his recess and that he pulled a boy's pants down in gym glass which, technically, is grounds for suspension! Fabulous! Let me make room on my trophy shelf for the Mom Award! What do I do?

I think I'm going to start reading my book about St. Augustine again. He was quite the scoundrel but his mother just kept on praying for him. Perhaps, that's all I can do along with a firm hand and a gentle spirit. So, if St. Monica would like to send me a loud message on how to survive raising boys, that would be great!! And, for all of you mothers raising only boys, I say WHEW!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Rocky River

I'm ready to move! I'm ready to begin my life in a new city with the man that I shall call my husband (if THAT ever happens) I've really struggled trying to make these statements feel real in my heart and they are beginning to take root. Worrying about furniture placement, schools, leaving family and friends, and the like all pale in comparison to how much I love Bill. I'd truly be willing to follow him anywhere (don't tell him that as he'd like to move somewhere off the grid and I don't do "off the grid")

For me, this is all a matter of trust. I need to trust that Bill will not abandon me in a new city for long periods at a time with only our house and my kids to keep me company. I've been down that road before and it, quite literally, almost killed me. So, I'm trying desperately to trust that this will be new and not a repeat of things in the past. I need to trust that I will make a new life for our family in the beautiful city of Rocky River and that it won't be left to just me and the kids vs. the big, bad, unknown town. I've been down that road as well and I am terrified of where it led me/us.

I just need to trust. It is required for the health and well-being of my children, my future husband, and myself for me to trust.

I trust...I trust...I trust...

Monday, October 25, 2010

Happy Birthday, Briege Marie

My darling, sweet, baby girl is 11 today!! She is such a joy for me to have in my life. I say this so many times but I'm just not sure how I was so blessed to have God gift me my beautiful daughter. Her kind heart and gentle spirit remind me, daily, of God's immense love for me. She has taught me that sometimes it is more important to be silly than it is to be busy. She has taught me that it only takes 2 seconds to brighten some one's day with a smile or a kind word. She has taught me that talent comes in all sorts of packages and she's amazing in so many ways! She's a cantor at Mass, she loves to try all of the sports, she is on student government, she's an excellent student, she is a peacemaker and wants everyone to feel love. I love this girl so much!!
Happy birthday, dearest Briege!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Can't See the Forest for the Trees

Definition: overly concerned with detail; not understanding the whole situation

Explanation: Used when expressing that a person is focusing too much on specific problems and is missing the point

Examples: I'm afraid you can't see the forest for the trees. - She often can't see the forest for the trees and needs to have the most relevant points explained to her.

I'm stressing out, folks! I am overwhelmed with all that has been put in my lap. I'm struggling to figure out how to get my minor house repairs completed (and how to pay for them), how to find the time to sell my house (and keep it show-worthy clean), how to find the right school for my kids (in a city that I know nothing about), how to get my fiance motivated to fix the major things wrong with his house (in a city that I know nothing about), how to find the time to meet with my priest in order to do our pre-marital counseling (with a fiance that lives 3 1/2 hours away), how to de-clutter a house that has 3 kids that currently live in it (with 2 other little kids that are here 2-3 times a week), how to figure out 2 History Day projects with 2 totally different personality-wise kids (I'll let you figure out which one has been easier), how to complete the flip-flappin' PE homework (don't get me started on the insane, ridiculous, time-wasting, stupid assignment...I mean it, don't get me started), how to fit 2 household's furniture into 1 house (in a city...yep, you know the rest)

So, as I began typing this little tirade (or big?) the image of a forest sprung to my mind. Am I too focused on the details of getting married and less focused on the fact that I am about to marry the most amazing, spiritual, smart, handsome, talented, sensitive man on the planet? Yes, on the planet! I've been so blessed to have him come into my life. I stress because he's not here! I want to spend every waking (and non-waking) moment with him and I can't! I hate that we live 3 1/2 hours away and so a quick "drop-in" just isn't possible.

I am trying to focus on the bigger picture, I really am. But, it's all those darn little issues that are in the way so all I see is this big, thick forest and I cannot, for the life of me, see one solitary tree! At this point, I know, I should turn to prayer. I have turned to my Rosary, my Bible, my devotionals, my crazy little chats with God but not nearly enough. Naturally, I wait until I cannot see straight because of the forest and then I cry out to God to help me find my way. I know it's a natural and human thing but why can't I just GO.DIRECTLY.TO.GOD.FIRST? Argh!!!

Forgive me, Father...Again!

Monday, October 18, 2010


I cannot believe he turned 20! How is it possible that not just one but TWO decades have passed since I gave birth to a special baby boy? It is surreal to think about the fact that I have this adult-type person with some of my genetic makeup running around this great world! I pray that God has graced (and is gracing) him with love, safety, security, faithfulness, wisdom, joy, and so much more. Happy birthday, dear JJ!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Happy Birthday!

Happy 13th birthday to my sweet, loving boy! Murphy has challenged me this year to see him as an emerging young man! He's challenged me to find a way to tweak the way that I approach our conversations. He's challenged me to be more creative in my open displays of love ;) But, one thing that he has never challenged me on is how MUCH I love him. He is receptive and loving right back at me. He hugs and kisses me in front of his friends and he teases me with a funny wit that I really love!

Happy 13th birthday, Murphy!!! I love you more than my shoes!!! Thank you, God, for the greatest of all birthday gifts - the birth of my son!! I pray that I will continue to help him reach his potential in all walks of life. He's well on his way!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010


I'm going through a bit of a struggle lately. It's not my "normal" struggle but one that has persistently crept into my heart and won't leave. I'd like to think it's because God has planted it there for a reason. I know it's because He planted it there! It has opened up all sorts of questions and concerns.

It all began with one little form from my kid's school wellness office. It was a non-threatening note to remind me to get my kids immunizations updated. It is state law for my kids to have the whole gauntlet of vaccines or else they are excluded from school. These immunizations are for things like Pertussis, Meningitis, and, the dreaded Chicken Pox. What? It is state mandated for my children to be vaccinated against the Chicken Pox? Since when did the Chicken Pox become such a rampant source of death? Didn't our parents intentionally infect us with it when the neighbor kids got it? "Oh, Suzie has the Chicken Pox? We'll be right over and be sure that Suzie's pox aren't scabbed over yet!" Wasn't that how the conversation went for most of us?

Do I want my children (or anyone's children) to be in pain or to suffer with any kind of irritation? Absolutely not! Have we all gone a little ape doo-doo over this? In my opinion, YES! How many of you know what one of the active ingredients in the Varicella (Chicken Pox) vaccine is?
Varivax chickenpox Merck & Co., Inc.
varicella live virus neomycin phosphate, sucrose, and monosodium glutamate (MSG) processed gelatin, fetal bovine serum, guinea pig embryo cells, albumin from human blood, and human diploid cells from aborted fetal tissue

Is this acceptable? I've been going over to pray next to the abortion clinic for over 2 years now but I'm mandated by the state to legally inject my children with cells from aborted fetal tissue? Ummm...I spend quite a bit of money to send my kids to a Catholic grade school just so I don't have the state telling me what to teach my kids, when to teach my kids, and what to do with my kids. I know we don't live in a vacuum but I do think that it should afford me/us the right to control what is happening to our children. And, by the way, I feel it is only right that I tell you that I love my children's school - the priest is amazing, the principal is terrific, the teachers are great, the families are loyal. I, however, have a problem with vaccinating my children using vaccines with aborted tissue in them (hate the label tissue when referring to the children lost through abortion)

So, you think you're safe just avoiding the Varicella for those reasons? Think again...Rubella vaccines, Hepatitis A vaccines, Rabies vaccines, MMR vaccines, and MR vaccines all contain "human diploid cells from aborted fetal tissue". This does not even cover the amount of mercury that is in all vaccines. Yes, they are creating more and more vaccines without mercury but they are trading mercury for other "safer" radioactive ingredients.

Where do I go from here? The diocesan nurse called me as she was told that I have some issues with the vaccines. I love this woman - she is sweet and was kind and understanding throughout our conversation. However, she is in the medical profession and so I did get the standard line about it not being aborted fetal tissue - it comes from tissue from miscarried babies. Oh, well then ok! Yikes! I also got the warning that if there is an outbreak of disease, my kids will be excused from school. Really? I think if there is an outbreak of disease at the school, I'm gonna keep them home anyway! We've gone ape doo-doo!

I am really not trying to be a conspiracy-laden nut job! I want only the best for my children while also making informed decisions so that we all can go before God and say that we fought the good fight. To say that I feel like I'm on an island all alone, would not be too far from the truth. To say that I want my Church to stand up for the unborn and against the predatory abortion industry and say no to vaccines, would be entirely accurate!

The problem grows because I am constantly worried that someone might declare me an unfit mother or, worse yet (oh brother!), they might not like me! I guess that I should prepare myself for the points and the stares and the talk because I have a very large problem with vaccinating my children after all that I've read from reliable sources. (You may ask me for my sources if you'd like)

Oh yeah, I promise to keep my kids out of school in the event of an outbreak of disease. Good Lord, I pray we all would know to keep our kids out of school for such an event.

Let the mud-slinging begin!