Thursday, February 25, 2010

What We Do

Just a glimpse into what we do here in Northern Indiana despite the snow in February!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Music is back

I couldn't help it! I brought back the music player for my blog! If only for my own benefit because the songs I chose and have chosen make me happy. This selection is very special because it really describes where I'm at in my life. So, there you have it - breaking news!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Ash Wednesday

So many prayers spinning through my head at the start of this Lent. Names swirling around in there and events to ponder. But at the base of it all is Christ and His unbelievable sacrifice from birth unto death. Thank you, Jesus!

Almighty and Everlasting God,
You have given the human race
Jesus Christ our Savior as a model of humility.
He fulfilled Your Will by becoming Man
And giving His life on the Cross.
Help us to bear witness to You
By following His example of suffering
And make us worthy to share in His Resurrection.
We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son.

Friday, February 12, 2010


It's terrifying to put your heart on the line, isn't it? I mean with some it is easy to just blurt out the "I love you" and know you'll get it in return. I am coming out of a relationship where saying I love you was simple and it was passionate but it fizzled. I have nothing bad to say about the relationship other than it burned itself out rather quickly (at least on my part) I roll my eyes that the "experts" were right when it they tell people that it's not the passion that sustains a relationship - that should just be a byproduct of deeper, selfless love (byproduct sounds icky but it is the only word I could think of to use in this case, sorry)

So how, then, does one enter into another relationship without making the same mistakes when it comes to passion and love and intimacy and whatever? The answer, of course, is God! Duh, right? Well, you'd think duh but obviously I'm a thick-headed moron because I used to think that I included God in all my decision making but what I was doing was making my choices and then running to God because they didn't work out as planned. It became that I was only able to love one thing at a time and that's not at all what God wants for us. I loved so fast and deeply very quickly that I just tread all over my relationship with God and He patiently waited while I hurt and now I'm here, wiser for the wear (I pray!)

Enter the new relationship - with its unknown; its butterflies; its, well, newness. I guess why I'm so excited about this wonderful "thing" is that he has an amazing relationship with God and that makes it much easier for me to build on my relationship with God (how many times in one post can I say the word relationship? It should be a drinking game) This is not me inferring that I need a man to determine my course of worship. But, I've been in relationships (drink) with men that had little or no real love of God and it makes it so difficult to be the only one steering the ship the right way. I feel like I need to make a disclaimer on everything but this is not to portray myself as a martyr! I know now that God gave me those opportunities for growth and I pray that I did.

How does one change those familiar habits of diving in head first? I want to just put my heart on the line but I've also learned, the hard way (thank you, God), that I need to do this and all things in God's time. It's just that God's time requires patience and obedience and I stink in those areas! I always want to hurry get there and then when I'm there, it's always empty and never as fulfilling as I thought it would be. I always compare this part of my life with making spaghetti (hello? carb addict, anyone?) There is no rushing the boiling of the pasta? If you put the pasta in before the water is ready, it's never quite right and it tastes spongy. If you put the pasta in and don't wait for it to be ready, again, spongy. It's all a matter of waiting and this is what I intend to do with my new relationship (drink) I so want to experience all that newness and to experience it in the way God intend it. What's nice is so does B!

That makes things much easier!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Amazing Weekend!

I had an amazing weekend visiting my oldest friend (other than my family members that I consider my friends) Jenn and I have been friends since the 4th grade and we remained friends even through the "I'm not your best friend any more" phases of grade school. It was Jenn that encouraged me to break out of my comfort zone and attend Purdue. Well, that didn't turn out to be such a great idea mostly because I realized, rather quickly, that I was a homebody and a University that large just didn't embody home for me. For others, it does. Jenn is one of those people that it does have that family hold for her. It could be because like, roughly, 40 members of her family have attended and graduated from Purdue in the last 55 years! Yeah, that helps a bit!

Jenn helped me quite a bit on those many days that I was homesick and got mono and then when I got pregnant. She and a few other special friends (whom I visited while in the Chicago area after not seeing them for 19 years!!) went with me to the Women's Clinic for my pregnancy test and helped see me through the next whirlwind month or two of figuring out what to do next. Seeing these friends again brought it all back to me and I was amazed at how much I have grown in the past 19 years. I know, duh! What I mean is I think we all assume we've grown and people tell us such but we (well I) never quite see it from our own perspective (you know, like a floating above observation)

I just lived that stressful and life-changing time in my life on automatic. My parents graced me with the gift of practicality. At times, being practical ALL the time can be a burden but at stressful times like this, it's a God-send!! I just figured others observed me in the same manner. I thought that they might have seen me as just doing what I needed to do to get things done. But, it was one of my Boiler friends that mentioned how much she admired the fact that I never once waivered from my principles and that I stood my ground and was determined to have the baby. In a world where we are pressured by many groups (that shall remain NAMELESS) that tell us it's "Your body!" and that an abortion will make the problem go away, I guess I can look and be proud of the fact that I held to my strong beliefs during that time.

At 19? I didn't know anything but I guess that's why I love my parents so much because their work was done to create the foundation so that decisions later in life would be less painful. Not pain FREE but less painful! I pray that I can lay this same foundation for my own children. I won't even get into the whole conversation of my struggles with Murphy lately. That will have to be for another post down the line a bit!!

So, I guess this rambling bits is just to share how much fun I had! Hanging out with Jenn and her husband (and their 3 kids) was a much needed break from the mundane in South Bend. I love my life - my kids, my family, my city, my house - but it is nice to have an opportunity to reboot even if the drama continues at home in my absence!! Thank you Jenn and John for allowing me to reboot and for making me feel so much at home!

I have to post one picture of their home as it is unreal in its beauty! The town is incredibly quaint and, if I could afford it, I would move there in a minute!

PS. Did I mention that I ate at a Chinese restaurant for the first time EVER? Yep, I felt so cool and, yet, so small town all at the same time!!