Wednesday, September 10, 2008

A Challenge

God often puts challenging people and challenging situations in my life for a reason. He is so smart and I realize it is to improve my patience and my compassion along with a laundry list of character issues that I need to improve. Honestly, most days I just want God to "test" someone else! I'm tired of it all and I'm tired of failing the test. So, for more than a few moments, I wallow in the poor me mentality until it hits me - perhaps I'm not doing so well and in God's HUGE capacity for love, He keeps giving me chance after chance. And, heck, I'm still blowing it time and time again. But, now when I blow it (just snapped at Murphy during homework time) I realize it more quickly and I amend my way and I try again. I am so glad that God isn't impatient with me! I can only imagine what it would be like if God took a page out of my parenting playbook! So, I am painstakingly trying to be more patient and to have more compassion for those challenges in my life. To those I've snapped at, I'm sorry, I am truly working on it!

As I continue to read I Believe in Love, I am continually in awe of how simple life is when we get out of God's way and just let Him lead with love! A quote from the book that I love which can be attributed to St. John Vianney, the holy Cure of Ars, is; "The good Lord is more eager to pardon a repentant sinner than a mother to rescue her child from the fire." That is amazing!
So, in keeping with my earlier mention, my challenge with difficulties, this only further comforts me. God's incredible desire to love and to welcome our tired little souls warms me! I thank God so much more than I have before today. Hopefully tomorrow I will thank God a little more than I have today.

Now I must be off to break up a fight between my three lovely little challenges - Oh Lord, please pray for me!

1 comment:

Jill said...

You're a great writer, Kelly. I already enjoy "checking in" on your blog. Weirdly, I am in a very similar place lately, wondering how I can get the heck out of God's way. It's easy to get frustrated with myself, but I keep reminding myself of that quote I sent you...something about if you're worrying about sins and failures for more than 10 seconds, you're being neurotic!!!

Thanks, too, for sharing your journey since Bill's death. You really have a way with words.