Friday, June 18, 2010
I know that this post will seem sappy and sad but it's more intended to be the mindless wonderings of a girl lacking some serious sleep! It's that time of year again. Father's day has arrived again with the same old confusion. How do we "celebrate" father's day as fatherless children? We aren't sad and we aren't feeling sorry for ourselves, we just don't know how to acknowledge the 1000 pound elephant in the room. We've made our cards for the men in our lives - Uncle Joe, Uncle Kevin, my Dad, etc. but there's always that pause when people realize there are fatherless kids in the room. It's ok, really! We'll spend it like we have the past three years (inevitably at the ballpark on a 90 degree day) together! We'll trudge through this one day set aside to honor fathers and Monday will poke its ugly head to begin another week.
Then come the big questions! You see, father's day is just any day. It's the odd Wednesday or the emotional Friday that throws me for a loop. I've felt like the biggest tool of a mother. Take back my hardware for Mother of the Year...Wait! What? I never won that? Shocker! My 12 year old son is hormonal and is in a constant stew about something unless he's doing what HE wants to do. Heaven forbid I ask the kid to shower, brush his teeth, unload the dishes, or strip the sheets off his bed! Holy Hannah, you'd think that I just pantsed him in front of a bus full of a cheerleaders! Heck, three months ago I could have pantsed him in front of a bus full of cheerleaders and he wouldn't have cared! Now? I dare not even claim to be his mother around certain people. Just ask me how much I respect THAT boundary! Answer is, I don't! I pour it on even more (I guess I don't need to wonder why he doesn't seem to love me anymore!) He's a great kid...to everyone else! I love him but I'm not in love with him anymore. We've officially broken up and I'm the only one crushed by the whole thing. Him? Not so much - or, better yet, not at all! Sniff...sniff...sniff!
So, begging your pardon for my lack of reverence for this day, I'd prefer to skip father's day and bring on Monday!
I love my father, by the way! He's the best and he's always been there for all of his kids! He's now an amazing grandfather and my kids would be lost without him! He certainly fills so many voids in terms of my fatherless children. I could write a book on the amazing men in my life from my brothers to my brother-in-law to my friends and now to the newest man in our life. I'm very blessed to have wonderful people in my life that show my kids (and myself) that there are great men that are also great coaches, great husbands, great priests, and great fathers. The biggest example of this is my Heavenly Father!
Putting aside my cynicism, if for a brief moment, Happy Father's Day!