Well, my countdown is about ready to expire! I've been counting down until my Alaskan cruise for the past 63 days and now it's here! Now it's confession time! Are you all ready for it? I'm a homebody! There, I said it! I don't like to sleep in any other bed except for my own - well, maybe the Ritz-Carlton wouldn't be so bad but who am I kidding, I've never been there either! I've never been west of Chicago (do the western suburbs of Chicago count as going west?) I've only been on an airplane 4 times in my whole life and I've never been on a train or a boat.
Enter all of the emotions! I've been a mess today! I'm freaking out because I need to mow, I need to clean the house, I need to grocery shop, I need to jot down all kid activities, I need to change the linens on the bed, I need... This is all a cover-up to hide the fact that I'm going to miss my kids! I've never been away from them for longer than 2 days! I like being in charge of everything, despite the fact that, at times, I hate being in charge of everything! I'm terrified that when I leave, the kids will be better off with their aunts, uncle, and grandparents than they were with me! Will my toilet be clean enough to trick people into thinking that I am this tidy and organized all of the time? Don't even get me started on the bed linens! I'm confessing (another confession?) that I don't sleep with a top sheet but I will make all of the beds with their top sheets so that the rumor doesn't get out that I'm a barbarian! Don't tell anyone, please!!!!!!!
It is more clear, after re-reading this post, that if ever there was a time that I needed a vacation it is now! Just with the ridiculous amounts of exclamation points it is apparent that I'm a little wound up and could use some vacation time. My thing is that I never feel like I deserve it. I can think of other people that kill themselves being the end all be/all for everyone. I know of one of my friends that is the mother of 3 boys (ugh! The stink!!) who takes care of everything and has a husband out of work (so, that means 4 boys at home) and still manages to me make me laugh all of the time. She could use a cruise to Alaska! I have another friend who is the mother of 3 kids that gives and gives and finally can't take it anymore because she's put up this front that she's the caretaker when all she wants to do is be taken care of a time or two. She could use a cruise to Alaska! I could go on and on thinking of every friend that I know of that deserves this more than I do. But, I'm going, darn it!! I really need this and I'm very excited but so nervous!
Please pray for a safe journey for B, his family, and myself! I can't wait to spend some alone time with B - without the pressures of kids, work, cell phones, family, sports, etc. I sure hope he likes "Mellow Kelly" because I'm not sure I've seen her in a very long time!
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