*Sigh*

Life is so funny! Two days ago I blogged about how I was going to conquer doubt (that is the end result anyway) and right when I make that my goal, doubt is all up in my "kool aid"! Today brought a situation to a head that has been building for about 9 days between Murphy and me. It involves school (doesn't it always?) and it was my line in the sand 9 days ago that I was going to let Murphy sink or swim. Well, he's been treading water for about 8 of those 9 days and I've, periodically, thrown him a life preserver to float on for a bit but that preserver is gone now and his nose is beneath the water! All I can see are his green eyes and they are big and they are scared. And all I can do is watch helplessly as my son begins his science fair project drowning!

Science fair? Yes, science fair! All of this drama is in regards to a stinkin' science fair project! I realize that there are just some kids that are so laid back that nothing seems to phase them and Murphy is one of those kids. It may serve him well when bad things happen to be laid back but it won't serve him well getting through school and becoming a God-fearing young man. Nothing seems to incite him to follow through with things. Last year he had to sit out of basketball for two weeks because of a 76% in his math class. Ok! It was humiliating and I hoped that it would be a good growing experience and it was for like those exact two weeks. A year later and he has no recall of the event. Perhaps he has suffered some sort of brain injury? Not to make light of brain injuries or to wish that upon anyone but it would give me something to grasp!

Is it me? "Hello? Kelly? Yeah, it's me doubt! Yeah, I just wanted you to know that it's going to be harder than you thought to kick my ass! Now game on!" I can't help but wonder if I've been going about this parenting thing the correct way. Am I too lenient? Am I too strict? Am I too wishy-washy? Am I ? "Hello? Doubt? Ummm, yeah, it's me, Kelly! I was wondering if you could leave me alone? I'm very tired of this kick-boxing match and I'm really tired of the bruises that it leaves when each round is over."

Have you noticed a lack of Godliness in this post? And I have the audacity to label it under 'Faith formation'! I don't know how to get a re-do on parenting moments but I sure wish there was a button for them! Doubt creeps in (and he's creepy!) when I leave God out of the situation. Asking God to enter into each and every aspect of my life seems a bit much but it's exactly what I need to do in order to survive this. It's what my kids need in order to survive this!

So, excuse me as I go and pay my last respects to Murphy and his science fair project. Please pray that I follow thru and don't throw in the, ever-predictable, life preserver! Mostly, pray that Murphy gets it this time!

Watch out doubt!