No Apologies

I need to vent! I'm tired of people lecturing me that it is not appropriate to sing/celebrate/decorate for Christmas until the official start of Advent. Yes, Advent began so do I have permission to allow my kids to sing Jingle Bells in kindergarten? Really? He gets a check by his name for singing a Christmas song before Thanksgiving was over? R.E.A.L.L.Y? I'm tired of hearing the lecture from many people when I mentioned that I loved that Christmas music was playing on the radio long before Thanksgiving was even here!! I'm sick of the scrooges that complain about hating Christmas because they have no money for presents. These are the same ding-dongs that lecture me on how the early playing and the early decorating for Christmas commercializes Christmas. Umm...what?

I know the reason for the season and have people thought that this is just the reason that I hold Christmas so dear? I love that things are getting chilly outside because it "forces" us inside to be still and together as a family. I love the Christmas music - not necessarily "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" but I love "Away in a Manger" and "Silent Night" and "The Little Drummer Boy" and "O Come All Ye Faithful" and...

Why do I feel the need to defend my love of Christmas? I love that it is a time to stop and remember Jesus during these long and quiet days and nights. I love this time of year where I can stop all of the pettiness (and I do!) and focus on the exact thing I'd like to purchase my sisters or my sons or my daughter to show them how much I love them. This gift may be a little something or a big something but the intent is the same. I take the sentiments that I feel from my relationship with my Heavenly Father and I try to translate it to my loved ones. It isn't in the gift itself, it's just in the act of thinking about the particular loved one that brings me the greatest joy.

So, please don't give me any more grief for longing for snow while being tired of the drizzly rain that keeps us all depressed and wet (IN NOVEMBER) Don't give me grief for welcoming Christmas and all of its joy and blessings and togetherness. Don't give me grief for wanting to find a world that is Christmas 24/7 not because of the materialistic aspects of this particular day but because I want to hold tight the sacredness and the warmth of this awesome day in which our Savior was given to the world through our amazing Mother!

Perhaps, the rest of the world needs to embrace Christmas as part of their everyday lives instead of finding some reason to hate it all. As for me, I'll be the one with glistening tears in her eyes because of the amount of love that is bubbling within her heart. Yeah, I'm that cheesy about Christmas!

Take Care of One Another

Royal News!

Well, crud! That royal couple from England just stole my thunder and announced their engagement. Now I'll be competing with the bride-to-be for gowns, tiarras, and Neil Lane diamond-encrusted wedding bands! I suppose she wants to travel to the church in a horse-drawn carriage with an armed escort, too? Great! I'll have to revamp everything or else I fear society will think that she copied me! Sheesh!

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

I posted this because I just like the snow picture!!

So, I went to my future home this past weekend to find a good school(s) for the kiddos. We started off by going to a fundraiser for a small, independent Catholic school (meaning=they are independently funded but still adhere to all of the Catholic teachings) It was a beautiful night and I met a lot of wonderful people that value their Catholic faith very much. At the end of the evening, I did determine that it wasn't the school for Murphy as they will only have 11 kids in the 8th grade next year and he needs more of a stepping stone into high school. I'm worried for Briege as there were kids there putting on a "show" by having a trivia contest. 5th graders were answering what the meaning of Latin words were! What? I think Briege is totally capable but I don't want her to feel like she's lost if that kind of work load is over her head. Keagan - well, he's my wild card! He's young enough to go anywhere but I wonder how they deal with his behavior "issues"?

We went to a brief open house at the all-girl Catholic high school, down the street. I love that it's all girls. I think that kind of learning behavior would benefit all kids - even at this age. I love the school. It has an amazing performing arts center, a huge gym, state of the art science and computer labs, and even a gift shop. A gift shop??? Yep! My only issue with it is...please don't send me hate letters...all girl schools tend to be rather liberal in their mindset. They push the feminist agenda and it's not always the agenda that I think is very feminine. It can be especially troubling in a Catholic setting because the tendency can be to teach the young women that they are being oppressed because women cannot be ordained as priests or that their role in the Church is secondary. I find that to be totally false so it would be my job to instill that in Briege. I do not know that this happens at this particular high school but I do know that it happens overwhelmingly at all-girl/women Catholic schools (both collegiate and other)

I'm trying to figure out the best possible case for a seamless transition for the kids and I. I'm certain that whatever decision we make, will turn out for the best. I'm also certain that there will be some pain involved. I'm very sad to be leaving the school that my kids are in right now. More so for Murphy than for the other two. He has some great friends and I happen to like their parents as well. This has been a gift to me to be able to call these people my friends and I will miss them terribly.

But...

I am ready to start my new life with Bill. I'm ready to forge ahead and make decisions with my new husband for the good of the family. When you grow up, like I have, you tend to make every decision a group one. This hasn't been all bad but there are times that it has been hard to "buck the system" and decide for myself things affecting my life and the lives of my children. I will most certainly miss my family - I can hardly begin to think about it!! However, with each step towards independence (which is what I feel this will be) I feel a great urgency to get the details accomplished and begin my life anew.

It's much easier talking about all of this in the abstract. Don't ask me to talk about it when it becomes a reality! I'm not sure I'll be able to verbalize any of it!

Hen-pecked!

A friend has a magnet on her refrigerator that says, "Being a mother can sometimes feel like being hen-pecked by chickens!" I must be chicken feed because I feel pecked to death! Either it's keeping my oldest from being mean to his sister or it's keeping my youngest from plotting some sort of mischievous plan to take over the school. I have friends that only have boys and they say they couldn't imagine their lives any better because girls are a headache. Well, let me tell you a little secret: Girls may have a little more drama but they are loyal and care about more than their own little piece of the world.

It's got to be something that I'm doing wrong with my sons. Maybe they needed me to be more motherly with them instead of the task-master that I tend to be day in and day out! I've tried to support their interests while also teaching them that the world doesn't revolve around them but the results have not been promising. I have one son that would rather pull out his own eyelashes than attend anything that didn't involve a sporting event. No, a sporting event that HE likes. There had better be something in it for him or beware the wrath - UGH! The other son likes to bully his way around a room. Not in the traditional bully way but he wears you down with his complaining and nagging that one is in tears because he just won't stop!

I know there are wonderful qualities that they both have and I should now name them all but I'm too frustrated to do it in this post! I just, for once, would like someone to tell me, "Oh, you're Keagan's mom...he's such a thoughtful young man" Instead I get phone calls from his K.I.N.D.E.R.G.A.R.T.E.N. teacher telling me that he has 3 conduct marks so he will miss his recess and that he pulled a boy's pants down in gym glass which, technically, is grounds for suspension! Fabulous! Let me make room on my trophy shelf for the Mom Award! What do I do?

I think I'm going to start reading my book about St. Augustine again. He was quite the scoundrel but his mother just kept on praying for him. Perhaps, that's all I can do along with a firm hand and a gentle spirit. So, if St. Monica would like to send me a loud message on how to survive raising boys, that would be great!! And, for all of you mothers raising only boys, I say WHEW!

Rocky River

I'm ready to move! I'm ready to begin my life in a new city with the man that I shall call my husband (if THAT ever happens) I've really struggled trying to make these statements feel real in my heart and they are beginning to take root. Worrying about furniture placement, schools, leaving family and friends, and the like all pale in comparison to how much I love Bill. I'd truly be willing to follow him anywhere (don't tell him that as he'd like to move somewhere off the grid and I don't do "off the grid")

For me, this is all a matter of trust. I need to trust that Bill will not abandon me in a new city for long periods at a time with only our house and my kids to keep me company. I've been down that road before and it, quite literally, almost killed me. So, I'm trying desperately to trust that this will be new and not a repeat of things in the past. I need to trust that I will make a new life for our family in the beautiful city of Rocky River and that it won't be left to just me and the kids vs. the big, bad, unknown town. I've been down that road as well and I am terrified of where it led me/us.

I just need to trust. It is required for the health and well-being of my children, my future husband, and myself for me to trust.

I trust...I trust...I trust...

Happy Birthday, Briege Marie

My darling, sweet, baby girl is 11 today!! She is such a joy for me to have in my life. I say this so many times but I'm just not sure how I was so blessed to have God gift me my beautiful daughter. Her kind heart and gentle spirit remind me, daily, of God's immense love for me. She has taught me that sometimes it is more important to be silly than it is to be busy. She has taught me that it only takes 2 seconds to brighten some one's day with a smile or a kind word. She has taught me that talent comes in all sorts of packages and she's amazing in so many ways! She's a cantor at Mass, she loves to try all of the sports, she is on student government, she's an excellent student, she is a peacemaker and wants everyone to feel love. I love this girl so much!!
Happy birthday, dearest Briege!